Pun Elevated !


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The best part of my job is using the elevator – a machine with great gravity. Mostly its funny but sometimes goes beyond . Here are few best ramified generic scenes I mostly run into.

Scene#1: Me and MY Boss

*TINGGG*
-door closes-
Boss: Hey.. how are you ?
Me: Good morning..! m fine, thank you.. how are you?
Boss: M good.. did you see the weather ? Its getting cold out isnt it ?
Me: Yeahh thats little bit too much for me i guess. I just wish to be somewhere in south ha ha .. !
Boss: ha ha.. i wish it too, but thats michigan !
*TINGGG*
-door opens-
Me to myself: (Thank god)

This scene happens almost everytime I meet him. Among very few things common between me and my Boss is Michigan Weather, Hectic Days and Weekend plans and apparently these are the only 3 things we talked since last 2 yrs !! Infact I can just close my eyes and and pop in my headphone and still go through the complete conversation. Its that monotonous.

Scene#2: ME and Afro-American

I get in
*TINGG*
-door closes-
Afro: Hey waddup buddy. ?
Me: Aa… um Nothing much.. how about you ? (Phew..)
Afro: m just %^&#$%&# .. don kno no wha to tel (^&^*%*# itS bee layk aa#$%^tas d\’in gonna #$#^&*&^%$!,,,, HA HA HA .. !
Me: (I didnt get anything out of that conversation but still) HA HA HA
*tinggg*
-door opens-
Me: (suffocated and thanking god)
Afro: Hav a goo\’van mei !
Me: (after like 30 secs).. You too ! () [wiping off the sweat and start walking away]

The moment I see him coming in MY ELEVATOR (somehow I just owned one), I start praying – plz for God sake close this damn door. Not that I discriminate or hate them neither am I scared. But its just that I dont get what they are saying. I am sure they speak some kind of english … but I feel like a stupid, idiot staring like a dumb-deaf and mentally challenged kid – trying to figure out from lip movements – catching few words here and there, trying to re-construct/ re-arrange them in my own sentence and understand whatever that line meant and think 100 times before answering back ! (thats a bit too much of mind storming exercise as a morning start) I certainly dont want to mess with them.

Scene#3: Me and some UNFAMILIAR DESI

I get in
*TINGG*
Another DESI gets in..

– door closes-

I smile at him, and he manages to smile back to me somehow with great efforts and now he tries to show that he is real busy/important coz\’ his $5 made-in-china cellphone just intecepted an intergalactic signal. Now an extremely uncomfortable situation, where both parties are desperately trying to avoid eye-contact and are uneasily waiting for the tension-filled ride to end. By the time the ride ends, I would have managed to memorize the safety instructions on the side of the lift, while other DESI would have managed to type out an very important imaginary SMS (or SOS) to a supernatural friend living somewhere on the Planet Zoltan some few lightyears away to save the Earth.

*tingg*
-door opens –

M on my way and he is on his.

I don���t know why we do this, but the fact remains that we do. If you meet a non-Indian in the elevator, you would smile and say hello, but if you meet a fellow Indian, some would pretend as if the other person does not exist. It actually takes 2 months of bumping into each other casually, before ignorance led to eye contact, eye contact led to smiles, smiles led to raised eyebrows, raised eyebrows led to short ���hey���s, ���hey���s led to more pleasant hellos, and hellos finally led to a conversation. Why ? You are like miles and months away from your land and still this attitude ? Things need to be changed desperately ..

Scene#4 : What do you get when you put 2 Gujjus/Teluguites/Punjabi/Hindi/…. together?

Ha ha.. I just wish !

 

Shah / Nirav ™
© Copyrights 2006 Nirav Shah. Some rights Reserved !

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